Fri 21 Apr 2006
Im not a big Dr. Phil fan, kinda think he sells common sense for a massive amount of money, but today there was something interesting on it.
A guy said he had sex with his girlfriend and she got pregnant. He does not want a child and feels it is unconstitutional that he should pay maintenance for the baby because he wanted to put the child up for adoption.
His arguement continues that he has fewer choices than his girlfriend in relation to the child and thats sexual discrimination. All the most common arguments were put forward e.g. “You had a choice that night you had sex…” etc. His argument was “Yea and so did she, and she had all these other choices like abortion, adoption etc. I didn’t”
I personally think the entire situation is sad as no-one is really looking out for the child, but I also think its interesting when you start to go down a humanist legal path that you end up with laws that contradict each other. There were 10 good laws to start with - probably should have stayed that way.
Check out the entire interview.
Your thoughts please?
April 22nd, 2006 at 4:10 am
Totally agree with you there! The pc ness of law and society has gone to a ridiculous level, worldwide! So what was the conclusion? how did Dr.Phil round up?
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Well, at least most of the women in America will now know to run away when they see this guy coming. He might not have to worry about this ever happening again!
April 24th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
we’re getting so PC over here dang we’re almost a pentium4.
dang i remember when i was funny.
dang
M
April 26th, 2006 at 7:09 am
dang, I’m doing my microsoft server 2003 exam tomorrow. The first microsof one i’ve done.
I’m in trouble,
Dang
April 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
A Woman’s right to choice. Roe vs. Wade - Promoting irresponsibility.
Plain and simple, negates a man’s feelings, constitutional rights and desires completely. Ultimately affecting and directing a man’s life and even worse a child at the expense of what a woman wants.
Yes, it is true. Equal rights have gone by the wayside. Rights have tipped to the woman when it comes to matters of responsibility. The say, everyone has the right to move on, but not so. Financial support and separate custody require a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not in favor of a man’s right to control a woman’s body, completely to the contrary. But how can a 50/50 decision be decided by one person, ultimately affecting a child and another’s life. The decision is about what is best for the woman, without regard to the feelings or effects on the child or the partner. Not really what is best for the child, a complete travesty to me. Sending money to a child in a single parent environment may be better than being in poverty, but the real issue is the child!!!!!!! A child needs the love and support of a happy family.
Hmm, has there been a rise in single motherhood? I wonder since when did this start? Roe vs. Wade - A license to hunt sperm maybe?
Men do not have many choices when it comes to birth control other than abstinence and condoms. In every situation, a condom is not readily available, and abstinence falls to the wayside in the heat of the moment when rational decision making can be impaired by many factors.
Take my story (with a grain of salt please):
I am a thirty eight year old male that has been around the sun a few times and have seen a lot in my life. I was raised by a single mother. Around the age of 6 my mother married, and her new husband adopted me as his own child. He provided a great life for me in both environment and stability. I still will not forget the sacrifice my mother made when it was just the two of us though, she never took in child support and just moved on and took me with her. My best friend since childhood came from a broken home, and my best friends all throughout school were twins (full) adopted at birth. So, to some extent I have an idea of what social dynamics do to a child and have vivid memories of growing up.
I married later in life and settled into a good relationship with my best friend of over twelve years. During this time, she researched and found her birth parents. She was (full) adopted at birth. Turns out her parents were still together, married and she had a full brother. It was very emotional reunion for all involved. Well in the end the relationship with my ex was a friendship and the passion was just not there and we went our separate ways (even though now in retrospect it was one of the best relationships I have ever had). Separation with someone like that is very difficult emotionally and left me somewhat vulnerable.
Within a couple of weeks I was sitting in a restaurant in San Francisco over looking the bay while on business, and am seated next to the future mother of my child. She was an older, attractive and a very successful international business woman. Well, we discussed the finer details of carnal knowledge and kept in touch. The calls and visits became more frequent and started becoming a long distance relationship. Several months after our initial meeting, she tells me that she has herpes and was sorry for not telling me before we… This was a blow to me, and a character issue on several fronts, thankfully no signs.. We continue on our paths but end up discussing way too many politics at the dinner table and realize that the difference between democrat and republican points of view can be relevant. Don’t get me wrong, politics are not my passion.
Well, one argument leads to another and we hang up on each other and do not talk for weeks before a paid for and planned trip to see each other out of the country for my birthday. The night before the scheduled trip, a call confirms maybe another chance and why let the vacation go to waste?
I am picked up at the airport in Oakland and am whisked to Napa valley for a nice dinner and a very expensive bottle of wine for my birthday. After many bottles of wine we go back to the hotel room to pass out, except she was ready to give me my present. The last thing I remember is saying condom that night. Well, the male is not always on top, and sex is not always consensual. Funny when it is the male that seduces the female, everyone has a different reaction and feelings on the matter?
We leave out of the country the next morning. I am bothered by the evening considering the shakiness of the situation and abstain and resist more presents as I knew the timing of the month was a little close to what we scheduled around on our visits. A couple of days later while having dinner and margaritas she blurts out I am pregnant. Just Joking…. Whoa… We go on with the week and head back to our own states.
I realize this relationship is just not right, and would not be a good environment for a family - I did get a drink thrown in my face the week before for goodness sake. So, we do not really talk, and I decide that it is time to call it off. We were not happy around each other. We had previously setup to see each other the next week in Dallas while she was there on business. Before I could blurt out that it is time to call it quits, she drops her next bomb on me. I am pregnant and being laid off.
I just broke up with my best friend and was determined to not settle for less than something that was as great or better a chance at a happy family as that I had lost. And there are so many feelings concerning the right thing for the child, the real victim in a situation like this, I have seen it on many fronts first hand. So many thoughts run through my head, from child hood to my deathbed.
What are my options, the last thing I want to do is leave a child without a father and I do not want to create an environment that is a volatile hotbed of negativity. I have such strong feelings on the matter that it materialized right in front of me.
I ask for abortion or adoption, neither are illegal and are a topic of an entirely different discussion and set of issues. She tells me her prompt catholic upbringing could not allow it, it was not a decision for her and tough for me.
Hmm, “tough” I think to myself in response to her “it takes two to tango” attitude.
I think…..
It takes one to plan a birthday surprise…
It takes one to wine and dine another…
It takes one to know that the time of month is not right…
It takes one to know that you are about to be laid off…
It takes one to know that the relationship is obviously slipping
It takes one to disregard a request for a condom with someone passing out
It takes one to watch “An Officer and a Gentleman”
I realize at this point, I no longer have any voice or authority in the matter. My right to happiness, contributing voice, or at least a say in the matter is pretty much non existent. Have I terminated my rights somehow? How does this happen in our day and age?
I ask for a DNA test and am told she could not afford it and did not want to. What do I do, what do I do?
Before the first trimester is over, I get a call to let me know she was having the fetus tested for genetic defects like downs, or some other hardship. She tells me that if it does have a defect, she will terminate the pregnancy. This is reminiscent of Aryan supremacy and a choice for her maybe? This would indicate that the choice is made for her by man. As catholic views on abortion are church edicts (we now there are not many women decision makers in the catholic church), not one from God.
Well, before nine months is up I get the call that he was here prematurely.
I ask for DNA again and we get nowhere again. Five years later I get a letter in the mail from the county of Los Angeles. A DNA test is finally performed, and the accuracy is 99.99-something. It still just does not make sense to me, but what can I say. I have no idea there are so many increasing false positives coming up in DNA testing, and research tells me that today’s DNA testing only qualifies at best it was mine, or she likes men that look like me.
A few days later, on the same day I get an automated approval for a mortgage, my employer starts taking $1850 dollars a month out of my paycheck and I owe $23,000 in arrears without warning or my day in court – in order to be granted a telephonic hearing you have to sign your rights away to representation (read the fine print and between the lines.) The mortgage company tells me, “do let the door hit you on the way out”. I can not afford to see my child now – he is 2,500 miles away, I will really struggle to keep from losing my residence, my vehicle and subsequently my job, forced into bankruptcy. So, jobless, homeless, and a true deadbeat, a child goes without a father and financial support. But justice is served in the best interest of the child.
So,
The system is positioned to give the female a right to choice, but not a male. We send a message that it is OK for the female to make their choices for what they want, act on them, and know they will be protected by the law, at the expense of another’s basic constitutional rights. The best interest of the child.
This promotes social irresponsibility, not social responsibility. Education promotes social responsibility, not favoring one parent or sex over another to make life changing decisions for the other and a child.
This is a quote from the L.A. County website:
“Paying court-ordered child support is among the most basic and important responsibilities of a non-custodial parent.”
This implies that the love, presence and teachings of a father are second to money, even if the mother is able to provide a comfortable living for the child.
Do not get me wrong, I am all for a woman’s choice in the matter, but I believe it has to be the responsible choice that is consensual and healthy for the child and the other partner. To give indiscriminate authority over such a life changing issue to the disregard of another’s basic constitutional rights is irresponsible.
You need a license to drive a car, but not have a child. What has bigger impact on our future?
So, Now I will fight to see my child and ability to provide.
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